Softpanorama

May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)
Contents Bulletin Scripting in shell and Perl Network troubleshooting History Humor

GURU command man page

News Humor Chronicle BSD Logo Story Know Your Unix System Administrator Top 10 Classic Unix Humor Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society The Sysadmin Price List
RFC 1925: The Twelve Networking Truths Murphy's Laws The Cuckoo's Egg The Worst Job in the World SYSTEM PROBLEM REPORT The Unix Hierarchy Unix was a Program Gone Bad
NETSLAVE QUIZ Interview with a hacker GURU The Unix Cult Office Diplomacy Lesson Six Types of Troubles with bosses Santa as sysadmin
 A letter from a programmer wife DNS Commandments "Mountain View California" (Sung to the tune "Hotel California" by the Eagles) Freudian Send in e-mail Flame Wars Glossary for Research Reports  vi himor The Corporate Jungles Of Cubonia
 C C++ Assembler Perl Shell Java Debugging
 Miscellaneous Unproductive Time Classification "Linux Sucks" Humor  Networking humor Solaris humor Orthodox Unixoid definition Algorithms Editors humor
RMS Linus Torvalds Larry Wall & Perl GPL humor Information Passing Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question Man page for Unix baby command
OFM Humor Wisdom for Grads SE Humor    Unix And C Are Jokes Viruses Eric Raymond Etc

--

            -=*#<({   Alexander Lebedev aka Joe Ratcatcher  })>#*=-
                      ------------------------------------
joe@smena-new.msk.su                  phone    +7(095)312-8386
joe@prior.msk.su                      fax      +7(095)286-4394
prr@glas.apc.org                      mail     Box 2, 113648, Moscow, Russia

*******************************************************************************

From: ig25@fg70.rz.uni-karlsruhe.de (Thomas Koenig)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
Subject: guru(M)
Date: 14 Apr 1994 14:59:48 GMT
Organization: University of Karlsruhe, Germany
Message-ID: <2ojlp4$dsd@nz12.rz.uni-karlsruhe.de>

Just found this... thought it was worth a repost ;-)

GURU(M) SYSTEM ADMINISTRATION GURU(M)

Syntax

guru [ -e program ] [ -f ] [ -p target ]

Description

guru is a sophisticated program synthesis and system maintenance tool developed after midnight in numerous university computing labs. It is based on the famous LISP Hacker system, used to develope AI programs on TENEX. guru reads a problem description from the standard input. An innovative and occasionally correct solution is generated and written to the standard output. Typically, guru is invoked repeatedly until an acceptable solution is generated or the user community has learned to live with the problem.

The bugreport mechanism sometimes invokes guru. In this case guru executes at a priority inversely proportional to the reported urgency of the bug. Feature enhancements run at high priority whereas critical problems are fixed only when the machine would otherwise be idle.

If the standard input is empty, guru uses its program synthesis capabilities to generate a selection of screen editors, X widgets, compilers, sundry games and the occasional diatribe.

The options include:

If more than one option is specified, guru may thrash. Each copy of guru has its own set of unique, additional and undocumented options.

See also

YAPS: Yet another Program Synthesiser by S C Johnson.

Notes

Inherent design limitations prevent guru from synthesizing comments. The programs generated are undocumented. The lucidity, politeness, relevance and language of the occasional diatribe vary considerably.

The only diagnostic is an occasional "I deserve a raise" which may be ignored albeit doing so may provoke "I resign'' - an unrecoverable error.

Sending the output of one guru into another can produce quite startling results.

--
Thomas Koenig, ig25@rz.uni-karlsruhe.de, ig25@dkauni2.bitnet,
The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double
logarithmic diagram.



Etc

FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit exclusivly for research and educational purposes.   If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. 

ABUSE: IPs or network segments from which we detect a stream of probes might be blocked for no less then 90 days. Multiple types of probes increase this period.  

Society

Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers :   Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism  : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy

Quotes

War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda  : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotesSomerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose BierceBernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes

Bulletin:

Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 :  Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method  : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law

History:

Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds  : Larry Wall  : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOSProgramming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC developmentScripting Languages : Perl history   : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history

Classic books:

The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-MonthHow to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Haterís Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite

Most popular humor pages:

Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor

The Last but not Least


Copyright © 1996-2016 by Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov. www.softpanorama.org was created as a service to the UN Sustainable Development Networking Programme (SDNP) in the author free time. This document is an industrial compilation designed and created exclusively for educational use and is distributed under the Softpanorama Content License.

The site uses AdSense so you need to be aware of Google privacy policy. You you do not want to be tracked by Google please disable Javascript for this site. This site is perfectly usable without Javascript.

Original materials copyright belong to respective owners. Quotes are made for educational purposes only in compliance with the fair use doctrine.

FAIR USE NOTICE This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to advance understanding of computer science, IT technology, economic, scientific, and social issues. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided by section 107 of the US Copyright Law according to which such material can be distributed without profit exclusively for research and educational purposes.

This is a Spartan WHYFF (We Help You For Free) site written by people for whom English is not a native language. Grammar and spelling errors should be expected. The site contain some broken links as it develops like a living tree...

You can use PayPal to make a contribution, supporting development of this site and speed up access. In case softpanorama.org is down you can use the at softpanorama.info

Disclaimer:

The statements, views and opinions presented on this web page are those of the author (or referenced source) and are not endorsed by, nor do they necessarily reflect, the opinions of the author present and former employers, SDNP or any other organization the author may be associated with. We do not warrant the correctness of the information provided or its fitness for any purpose.

Last modified: September, 12, 2017