|May the source be with you, but remember the KISS principle ;-)|
|Contents||Bulletin||Scripting in shell and Perl||Network troubleshooting||History||Humor|
Adapted from the Amazon.com NetSlaves page by Nikolai Bezroukov
|News||Humor Chronicle||BSD Logo Story||Know Your Unix System Administrator||Top 10 Classic Unix Humor||Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society||The Sysadmin Price List|
|RFC 1925: The Twelve Networking Truths||Murphy's Laws||The Cuckoo's Egg||The Worst Job in the World||SYSTEM PROBLEM REPORT||The Unix Hierarchy||Unix was a Program Gone Bad|
|NETSLAVE QUIZ||Interview with a hacker||GURU||The Unix Cult||Office Diplomacy Lesson||Six Types of Troubles with bosses||Santa as sysadmin|
|A letter from a programmer wife||DNS Commandments||"Mountain View California" (Sung to the tune "Hotel California" by the Eagles)||Freudian Send in e-mail Flame Wars||Glossary for Research Reports||vi himor||The Corporate Jungles Of Cubonia|
|Miscellaneous Unproductive Time Classification||"Linux Sucks" Humor||Networking humor||Solaris humor||Orthodox Unixoid definition||Algorithms||Editors humor|
|RMS||Linus Torvalds||Larry Wall & Perl||GPL humor||Information Passing||Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question||Man page for Unix baby command|
|OFM Humor||Wisdom for Grads||SE Humor||Unix And C Are Jokes||Viruses||Eric Raymond||Etc|
PART I: YOUR WORK LIFE
PART II: YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH TECHNOLOGY
PART III: YOUR INTERNET KNOWLEDGE
1. AT YOUR LAST JOB INTERVIEW, YOU EXHIBITED:
B. Mild Wariness
C. Tried to overcome headache. I was really tied
D. Controlled Hostility
2. DESCRIBE YOUR WORKPLACE:
A. An enterprising, dynamic group of individuals laying the groundwork for tomorrow's economy.
B. A bunch of geeks with questionable social skills.
C. An anxiety-ridden, with long hours and a lot of stress because of backbiting bunch of finger-pointers.
D. Jerks, sociopaths and PHB
3. DESCRIBE YOUR HOME:
A. Small, but efficient.
B. Shared and dormlike.
C. Rubble-strewn and fetid.
D. I have a personal network at my home with three or more connected computers and permanent connection to the Internet
4. MY PERSONAL COMPUTER:
A. Maximizes my productivity.
B. Is my best friend.
C. Lets me work all kinds of crazy hours at home.
D. My computers can heat my apartment.
5. MY ALPHANUMERIC PAGER:
A. Is a convenient way to stay in touch with my office.
B. I do not like when it sometimes goes off at night
C. Has been temporarily disabled and I receive warning because of that
D. I have it all the time and always wear a cell phone on my belt.
6. WHAT DOES THE "I" IN IPO STAND FOR?
7. WHAT DOES THE "E" IN E-COMMERCE STAND FOR?
8. WHAT ARE THE "THREE C'S OF THE INTERNET?"
A. Content, Community and Commerce
B. Cults, Chats and Clutter
C. Cheetos, Chinese Food and Coke
D. Crap, Costs and Chaos
9. WHAT IS THE "WINDOWS ENVIRONMENT"?
A. A graphical operating system.
B. A ploy for world domination.
C. A bug-ridden, proprietary disaster. Open source is the way to go.
D. Linux rulez.
10. WHO IS THE REAL "FATHER OF THE INTERNET"?
A. Vice-president Gore
B. Vinton Cerf
C. Linus Torvalds
D. George Orwell
11. WHY WAS THE INTERNET CREATED?
A. To simplify a way to bid out jobs to immigrant workers.
B. To boost the Dow over 10,000
C. To create a new bunch of billionaires
D. To create an IPO gold rush.
12. WHY ARE YOU WORKING IN THE INTERNET BUSINESS?
A. To get rich.
B. To get by.
C. Linux rulez
D. Nobody else will take me.
13. DESCRIBE YOURSELF POLITICALLY:
14. DESCRIBE YOUR RELIGION:
C. Open Source
15. WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN 2000?
A. It's revenge time for brick-and-mortars.
B. Your girlfriend may dump you for a doctor or Venture Capitalist.
C. You are feared that your health insurance may run out and you may not have new contracts to renew it.
D. You are feared that you will be fired or outsourced with no equity.
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ABUSE: IPs or network segments from which we detect a stream of probes might be blocked for no less then 90 days. Multiple types of probes increase this period.
Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers : Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy
War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotes : Somerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose Bierce : Bernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes
Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law
Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds : Larry Wall : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOS : Programming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC development : Scripting Languages : Perl history : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history
The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-Month : How to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Hater’s Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite
Most popular humor pages:
Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor
The Last but not Least
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Created November 30, 1999; Minor and/or typos corrections due to users feedback: September 12, 2017